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The Internist | By: Lovey Dovey

“It’s not that I am holding out because I want to marry a doctor or something Kassie,” Shayna said in denial between her teeth. “Well, I just don’t understand why you are still single after all this time, even after I hooked you up on that blind date with the hot pediatrists from Florida,” Kassie said, in an exhausted tone. Kassie was slim and sexually overt at all times. She had no problem pulling any man she wanted. “You know I’m not in a hurry Kassie.” “I just need to keep looking until I find ‘that feeling’, you know?” Shayna sighed. Silently she thought to herself, how lucky a woman with a foot fetish would be with Dr. what’s his face, she giggled to herself. Now in her mid-40’s, Shayna had secretly promised herself to date every internist in the damn city, and suburbs for that matter, until secretly, she could find him.

Shayna had been putting off taking care of her annual exams for years. Her girlfriends were constantly reminding her to get checked, stay informed about her body, “Yaddi, yaddi yadda, obviously”, she thought silently to herself. Ever since she was about sixteen, she was shy about seeing that kind of doctor after a major crush she developed for her doctor. He was smart, extremely attractive and she imagined he knew his way around a woman’s body much better than any immature boy she had dated. Although she never had more than a sterile interaction with him, the push and pull of her urges and her own self-disgust for just thinking about wanting to cross that line were always lingering in the back of her mind.

Years of inconsistent appointments at various clinics in the city passed, now in her late forties, Shayna made a habit of attempting to re-create her deepest fantasy. The one where she intended to find the perfect OB/GYN to care of her every need.

The following morning after dinner, the phone rang at what felt like dawn. As Shayna pulled her blue velvet eye covers to the side and grabbed her cell from the bedside table in a fog, she saw the caller ID. It was Kassie. “What could she possibly want right now?” Shayna thought quietly out loud. “Girl…” Kassie said in an excited voice. “Yeah, what’s up Kass, it’s so early.” “We didn’t get home until 1a last night, remember?” Shayna continued. “So, our rideshare last night, well, I didn’t go home after you got dropped off.” “I ended up going to this dive bar by my new house off 22nd Ave and met the hottest guy.” Kassie shared. “And?” Shayna said expressing little interest. “You’ll never guess, but the driver, he’s a doctor!” Kassie said excitedly. “Uh, no Kassie, I don’t want your sloppy seconds, if that’s what you are offering and that last date with the foot doc was horrible.” Shayna said. “Sis, I swear I didn’t hook up with him but I did tell him I knew a woman who was talented, intelligent and didn’t want him for his money,” Kassie said giggling.

Shayna pulled the white crisp Egyptian cotton sheets from her body and leaned against her towering fabric tufted headboard. Her long black hair was always in such a mess in the morning when she forgot to braid it. Padding her back with a down pillow and smoothing her hair she said, “I’m listening, but why does he need to drive an uber if he’s employed in medicine?” “I think we should go back, same time next week?” “See if we can find him?” Kassie insisted eagerly. “I don’t know Kass, I am not interested in stalking my potential lovers and I am certainly not desperate, although I appreciate you putting me out there,” Shayna explained this for what felt like the one hundredth time with little excitement. “I just want you to be happy Shayna and with someone who can be your equal, you know?” “Not like the last long-term guy that was freeloader and broke your heart,” Kassie continued.

Shayna knew she had a habit of dating men that were, not exactly her equal or as financially secure, because it hurt less when she had to break it off, so she told herself. Afterall, she was getting a little fatigued holding out for those feelings she’d built up in her mind to come to fruition. “Ok,” she said to Kassie reluctantly, “I’ll go back with you.”

The following Saturday arrived faster than usual this week and after her morning shot of espresso, Shayna realized she had nothing in the fridge. She grabbed her trench and headed for the local deli to grab something fresh to satiate herself for the day. The elevator was broken again, so she took the stairs from her penthouse and rushed down the steps. Just as she reached for the 1st floor door handle, a man came crashing through in a hurry. His dog was barking happily and without seeing her, it was like slow motion: his coffee came up, up, up and right out of his mug, landing all over her trench coat, her shoes and the floor beneath them both. Annoyed, Shayna yelled, “What the fuck man!” “Control your damn animal,” she continued, in a sticky frustrated rage.

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry,” he said, simultaneously nudging his labrador gently with his foot to keep it from liking up the sweet creamed coffee. He started to laugh. “I don’t think this is funny at all!” yelled Shayna, as she grabbed the metal mug out of his scalded hand and threw it to the ground in the stairwell. “Forget it,” she said, turning her back to walk up the stairs. I guess it’s just as sign I shouldn’t be leaving my apartment today, she thought to herself huffing back up eight flights of stairs.  

Working through most of the day Shayna was starving now. It wasn’t uncommon for her to work weekends when she was lead attorney at the firm, but now she’d better get ready. She grabbed a cab bound for Kassie’s new house headed out for the evening’s festivities and some potential boyfriend recognizance. After a delicious dinner Kassie prepared for them they headed for the bar. This new spot was only a short walk from her home. Unlike Shayna, Kassie was an excellent cook, so meals at her sister’s house were always her favorite. They were seated and ordered a pitcher of craft beer together. “Omg, he’s here,” Kassie said whispering. “Your joking,” said Shayna bluntly. “No seriously look, he’s the guy in the black sport coat over by the bar,” Kassie continued under her breath.   

Shayna decided to be brave and just headed to the bar boldly. “I’m just going to get this over with,” she thought to herself. “Shayna, what are you doing!” Kassie said as Shayna very swiftly left the table. She approached him from behind. “Hey,” Shayna said in a soft and sexy voice in the gentleman’s ear. She placed her hand on the chair back as he turned away from the televised sports he was watching in her direction. “Oh, hello,” he said in a swanky, but silly voice. Shayna’s eyes grew wide.

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