Born to Be Wild Lifestyle Coaching

Welcome to the sweetest day of the year ladies. What are we talking about here exactly, you ask? Cake & Cunnilingus Day!

It all started to compete with “Steak & BJ Day“. Apparently on “Cake & Cunnilingus Day” if you happen to be a female, April 14^th demands you be treated to your favorite slice of cake and some extra special X-rated oral attention. With that in mind we credit Ms. Naughty’s Porn for Women and her erotic blog for streamlining this sexy holiday back in 2006. It’s still gaining traction today, but we think it’s well worth celebrating.

But wait, what’s “Steak & Blow Job Day” all about you say? This man’s day of meaty indulgence was created as a frustrated response to Valentine’s Day. My guess is that gentlemen were feeling left out and started their own holiday celebrated on March 14^th each year. A month later and we’ve got a tit-for-tat holiday spat. But the outcomes of both sound so good.

Men & women are not being treated equally with respect to getting sexy treats on Valentine’s Day. It makes sense that we each have our own special holiday dedicated to the individual sexes then I suppose. In my sex positive sphere, everyone gets to indulge!

The deeper meaning of this holiday has two sides. The first being how culture shapes false expectations around love and relationships & the other involving cunnilingus 101. In my relationship experience, men weren’t ever forgotten on Valentine’s Day. Since when did it become all about the ladies? That’s news to me. However, I am someone who receives pleasure from providing it to others, so my motivations for giving weren’t always selfless. I always tried to find creative ways to share Valentine’s day with the man in my life. Everyone’s personal preferences are different are should be celebrated.

Were you socialized to expect a card, candy and flowers on Valentine’s day? Left to think if you didn’t get something you were less than, not good enough, inadequate, unworthy or unloved without that validation? Or, if you didn’t get her something or otherwise felt it wasn’t necessary, did you fear there would be resentment, a frustrated spouse or otherwise ended a relationship before the dreaded holiday even took place to get out of it? This sucks and you’re not alone. We have all felt these things at some time in our lives or relationships.

Our society has a way of pushing ‘norms’ on us that don’t make much logical or emotional sense for that matter. Receiving gifts that evoke sensations are our jam, which why we’d rather celebrate these two holidays, instead of V-Day. In my coaching practice for example, the social messages women receive often sound like this: woman are expected to have orgasms quickly and from intercourse penetrative sex.* The fact is, that’s not true at all. Many women can only reach climax from clitoral stimulation and oral sex often enhances this experience. Making it all the more pleasurable and 70% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm*, so why not use your tongue? I’ve spoken to women who feel obligated to give sex on Valentines Day when they’ve been presented with gifts; yuck! Rather lets put a new spin on things with a little liberation and education.

If you’re down to celebrate National Cake & Cunnilingus Day (pun intended), we suggest you check out Skirt Club’s website for an article written by Dr. Holly Richmond, PhD. and Certified Sex Therapist on, “How to Go Down on a Woman”.

As a sex positive freelance writer and co-creator of the Club’s monthly newsletter, I enjoyed brushing up on my own skills with her, 7 Steps to Sweetness! This article was published in the February 2021 edition. I know you will enjoy it too, so check it out and let me know your thoughts in the comments.